IB Survival 101

You know you're in IB when...
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You know you're in IB when...
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Ah, the classic. Some of these we thought up (who said IB kids aren’t creative?), some we plagiarized (er-- borrowed) from other sites. Don't worry. We’ve cited our sources.

You know you’re in IB when

…you have to think about what exactly knowledge is.

…you try to use a math formula to figure out what time it is b/c of your lack of sleep

…Your idea of a dirty joke is not writing the c in "sec x"

…you fight over CLASS RANK more than u fight over the opposite sex... and the fights are more bloody

…You're in IB if you skip lunch to do reading for your next class, then during passing period get there early to study for a test

…There’s always someone having a mental breakdown

….you work on an assignment right up to the class before it's due

…if you sleep with your books

…your idea of 'work' is confined to a mathematical formula involving red bull, 2am, and the horrible 'omg this is due tomorrow' feeling.

…if you sit still for 5 minutes you immediately become drowsy and possibly fall asleep, no matter where you are or what position you're in.

…the question "anybody got cards?" pops up at least twice a day.

…Some kid comes up to you and says "man I just got out of court and I have to do 40 hours of community service" and you say "No big deal I have to do 150.” He says "DAMN what the hell did you do" and you say "I admitted to being smart"

…while running laps in pe your studying for a test in your next class

…you argue with your parents about how you can't miss Spanish, when you were throwing up only half an hour ago.

… half of your inside jokes have historical references.

…every party you have ends up with everyone shouting about the meaning of life

…Lunch is for home working not eating

…You skip class to do home work

…You can only date IB kids because they understand your frequent brake downs

…You have nightmares about getting a C

…You’ve been doing this since 6th grade and cant understand why the new kids are better than you

….You’ve been doing this since 6th grade and cant understand why your still in it

…You get excited about community service projects

…You wish you could take things like home economics and shop

…You want to stay in IB so you can get IB days

…you make up really smart sounding words and non-IB kids believe you.

…you can bs anything in half an hour and still get an A.

…getting a B on a test actually brings you to tears.

…your Friday night plans are to do homework.

…you stay up till four in the morning fairly regularly completing homework.

…you stay up till four in the morning talking to friends who are doing homework.

…in fact, all you do is homework

…when your backpack weighs more than you do

…you bitch about EVERYTHING.

…you're mad at your teacher because she doesn't teach you anything.

…despite your massive amounts of homework you still do at least five extracurricular activities a week (or a night. it depends on how hard core you are.)

…you refer to non-IB kids as the "other" kids and generally pity them.

…pretty much all you and your friends talk about is how much homework you have and how tired you are.

…you have to schedule plans with friends two-three weeks ahead.

…you are often heard saying, "life? What life?"

…stress is so common that when you finally relax you think something must be seriously wrong.

…you spend more time doing community service than you spend doing pretty much anything else.

…you have the best friends on the planet!

…a majority of each class period is spent talking about Jews.

…the most popular school sponsored activities are making fun of Max and beating up Wes. :)

…you go to *gasp* IB events.

…you get free days given to you by the school because you have so much crap to do.

…You have perfected the art of sleeping with your eyes open and still looking awake.

…procrastination is a daily ritual.

…your main food staple is a triple shot Starbucks espresso.

…you keep your parents up all night typing on the computer and playing music.

…the only time you see your friends is when you have a group project.

…you have a recurring nightmare about not finishing assignments.

…3 words: "Calculus is Cool!"

…3 more: "Time Dilation is fun!"

…You'll do yourself bodily harm for the sake of a Macbeth English presentation.

…You know at least 15 digits of pi. 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097...

…You celebrate pi day (3/14), mole day (10/23), and pi approximation day (22/7 (d/m), as 22/7 is very close to pi.)

…You own more than 3 calculators.

…You know the chemical formula for TNT.

…You know what TNT stands for.

…You find hydrogen iodide rather funny too!"

…You have a favorite element.

…When you first saw the compound AsF5, you thought: cool!

…You know why AsF5 is 'cool', but realize that in actual fact it's really not so unusual or cool at all.

…You've taken your SATs, even though you're not planning on going to school in the U.S.

…You've taken your PSATs, even though they're not needed to take your SATs (which you will be taking even you're not planning on going to school in the U.S.)

…You've paid money to take a test or tests.

…Over the summer, you felt it necessary to "get in some culture", and attended several performances of "Shakespeare in the Park".

…You amuse yourself coming up with / finding real-life proportionalities, such as "The amount of butter on the toast is directly proportional to the value of the carpet." or "The masichism of the student is directly proportional to the number of I.B. courses taken." Realizing I'm probably not talking about moles, you are disturbed by the use of 'amount' in the above proportionality.

…You feel incredibly rested after 7 1/2 hours of sleep.

…Your backpack is so full, you can't turn around on the bus without hitting someone over the head.

…You know "1984" and "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" by heart even though you’ve never read either of them.

…You scream uncontrollably if someone mentions the Russian Revolution or the French Revolution outside of school.

…You identify with one or more of the above.

…While writing a TOK paper, you begin to actually understand the material.

…You explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip of espresso.

…You wonder if brewing is an essential step in the consumption of coffee.

…You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.

…You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.

…Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"

…You can spell "Baccalaureate".

…"IB has an honor code?!?!"

…"Friends" and "fellow IBers" are interchangeable.

…You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"

…Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year..."

…Social life? What's that?

…You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not.

…You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.

…You write sentences on multiple choice tests.

…it’s okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.

…You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"

…You manage to complete a semesters worth of homework the day before the term ends.

…You finish your extended essay shortly after midnight. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your World Lit. paper.

…Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it. .

…Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework.

…You wonder if there's Cliff's Notes on the Calculus book.

…You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers.

…Cheating became too difficult, so you took up telepathy.

…You have the library on speed dial.

…You've framed the Honor Code.

…Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.

…Your books weigh more than you do.

…Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.

…Your alternate thesis for the Extended Essay is why IB jokes/checklists are so prolific and the amount of fact contained within them.

…You plead insanity on a research paper.

…Your plea is accepted by your teacher.

…You have a Cliff's Notes Preferred Customer Credit Card.

…You exceed the limit on said credit card--on only Cliff's Notes!

…You forgot about that pesky Extended Essay thing until the night before it was due.

…You have convinced your parents the "1" you received on your IB Physics exam was really the "top 1% of all IB students worldwide".

…Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."

…It's essential to learn to live with occasional failures.

…Can we say EXTRA CREDIT??

…You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.

…You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework.

…You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.

…You are 18 but can't drive.

…You have 15 library cards each under a different alias.

…Tests are no longer singular efforts!

…You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay (by over 1000 words).

…The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.

…You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in October.

…You come into school at 6:00am to do Biology and don't complain.

…It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.

…You carry around vocabulary flash cards to whip out in your free time.

…The saying "When I graduate high school" has been replaced with "If I ever graduate."

…When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is.

…When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.

…You show up 4 hours late to an IB test and still manage to get a "5".

…During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-82 and get the highest score in the class.

…The only words you ever say in Spanish class are "No sé."

…Instead of playing Game Boy, you play your calculator

…16+2= ...wait let me get my graphing calculator!

…you love telling your boyfriend the story your math teacher told you

…you're disappointed when you only get 100% on a test.

…you're smarter than all your teachers...no, that just means you're in public school.

…you realize the IB drop outs are smarter than you are.

…you check out a stack of books from the library each week and return them a week later... unread.

…everything you learned about sex came from the English required reading list.

… I’ve survived seven years of IB, why can’t I figure out this f***ing Rubix cube?!!

... You attempt to use working on an "IB Survival" webpage as CAS hours... and get away with it

IB=AP on steroids!!

Hard work will pay off over time, but laziness will pay off now